I have been DYING for a bottle of wine! I can feel saliva percolating on the sides of my mouth. It sucks being penniless! This upcoming Friday is payday though... I have GOTSTA make a trek down the street to the wine and spirit shop. I can TASTE it's sweet and sour nectar as I sleep. Anyway, everyone is preparing for the annual gala, at my job. It's usually fun and they have a lot of catered frou frou food and wine. The tickest are $100 a pop ($50.00 if you're a staffer who wants to party as opposed to working that evening)... Each staff member can bring a guest for FREE... and he or she gets to drink and eat all they want while we stand around leering angrily at them. The staff rule (provided we're "working") is : NO DRINKING OR EATING. Everyone's response to that?... FUCK THAT SHIT! I know I'm plan on having a few sips of wine here and there. Or maybe even a cocktail. I have a plan. My best friend, Cat is coming down from Somerville as my guest. She says that if I bring my flask, she could go into the bathroom with her drink in tow, and then fill my flask up. Hmmm... sounds a bit too complicated. One of my colleagues, whose office area is downstairs in the basement proposes we gather down there at some point during the course of the eveing and slam 'em... now THIS, I like. Either way you cut it, I refuse to come away empty-handed, I know this much. It's going to be so much fun... Nothing like seeing a bunch of rich, old, eccentric white people getting drunk and dancing all jerky and epileptic-like. This will be my third experience at the gala, and it gets better and better. There is always a theme that corresponds to the newly featured exhibit on display. Lots of staff members and some guests show up in costumes (not I said the fly, don't do constumes... )This year's theme is : "GOOD CLEAN FUN" which celebrates the opening of our new exhibit entitled, "Are We Clean Yet?", which displays how we have kept our homes and ourselves over the past two centuries. The exhibit has funny vintage commercials about washing machines, detergent, vacuum cleaners ... pretend pump water complete with yoke and bucket, earth closets and quirky collections of the like. ANYWAY... That drinking rule will just go ignored, either way you cut it. I don't think anybody wants to get wasted while "working" that evening (although I have heard some stories about drunken staff members at past galas), but the idea is for everyone, staff included to have fun. What the fuck, are we supposed to, sit around and hold up the walls... I don't think so! The memo came in question and answer form, the primary Q & A's being... "Can I drink a little beer and nosh on some food?" No, sorry. The policy for (insert mystery) Museum events is that staff who are working are not allowed to partake in the food or liquor. An early dinner will be provided and soft drinks will be available at the bars. Also, for those of you willing to donate an additional two hours on the day of the event, lunch will be provided. First of all, who the fuck says "nosh" and secondly, I hate soft drinks! I want booze dammit! "How about discounted tickets?" Each staff member who works the gala will be given a complimentary ticket for a guest to use (at a value of $100). One additional ticket can be purchased for a discounted rate of $50. Staff who do not work the event, but who would like to attend, can purchase a discounted ticket at $50 (and enjoy both food and liquor). BOOOOO, bastards and bitches! "I am working 5-7:00. Can I eat and drink after my shift ends?" Unfortunately no. The gala will be a fun evening for those attending, but it is better if there remains a clear line between workers and attendees. For those who want to enjoy the food and drink of the evening, they should probably not work, but buy a ticket instead, and have a great time! Um, what the fuck ever! If I bust my ass helping decorate and being a gracious co-host and shit, then you mean to tell me I can't enjoy a glass of wine?? Whatever. And that crap about there needing to be a "clear line" between us and them is a bag of bullshit and it's downright insulting. Oh, but we can BID on items at the expensive ass auction they're having. Another way for them to take some of our paltry paychecks. hahahaha. Anyway, like I said, most staffers will probably disregard these "rules" anyway. Needless to say, it will probably turn out to be a fun evening. There is going to be an oxygen bar set up and fun themes of the like. Anyone who actually reads this blog will be kept abreast!